Book Review: “Sam Is My Sister” by Ashley Rhodes-Courter

Age recommendation: 4 to 7 (though children of all ages can enjoy reading this with their families)

What Makes This One of the Best Children’s Books

As transgenderism becomes more integrated into mainstream culture, many families will naturally search for accessible ways to introduce this topic to kids. Ashley Rhodes-Courter’s heartwarming book “Sam Is My Sister” provides a sensitive and authentic portrayal of this subject, by chronicling the journey of self-discovery that the author’s own child experienced.

The story follows a family with three young boys: Finn, Evan and Sam. From the very start, Sam starts to prefer more female-associated clothes and activities, such as a sparkly princess book, wearing his hear long and donning bows and dresses.

Eventually, Sam’s parents talk with experts and explain to the family that Sam identifies as a girl and is transgender, with her parents heartily supporting her. 

Along the way, this book offers numerous valuable lessons. This includes simply showing and explaining what transgenderism is – and how strongly transgender people feel about how they want to be treated. I admire how clearly the book conveys this, when Sam compares how she knows she is a girl to how she knows she is right-handed.

The book also acknowledges how difficult it can be to look and act differently from others, and encourages young readers to stay strong and true to who they are. In spite of schoolyard bullies, Sam buckles down and insists she wants to wear bows and dresses. She refuses to change herself, just because of kids’ taunting.

Above all, this story provides a sterling example for kids of how to accept transgender people in their own lives. Sam’s brother Evan defends her against bullies, and while Evan initially feels mystified by Sam’s behavior, Evan never teases his sister. He realizes that whether Sam is a boy or girl, they can still enjoy all their favorite activities together and will always be family.

If any families worry their kids might be too young for this topic, the author’s message relays that her son preferred to be treated as a girl as early as kindergarten – and reading a book with a transgender character provided a lightbulb moment for their family.

Kids will not only gain a clear understanding of transgenderism from this book, but also an appreciation for accepting and supporting others.

How My Child Reacted to This Book

My son in preschool loved this book. After we initially read it, he immediately wanted to read it again multiple times. He asked various questions about Sam’s behavior throughout the book, and listened patiently to my explanations. 

He even wanted to review some pages again and again to look at the illustrations of the fun dresses Sam wears. He seemed very receptive to the book’s message, and I’m hoping that seeding this acceptance at an early age will help him maintain it throughout his life.

Potential Conversations to Pair with This Book

Parents can discuss a variety of topics after reading “Sam Is My Sister,” especially the importance of kindness and inclusivity. 

They can also discuss how it’s OK to be different – even if it can be hard sometimes. This can also serve as an opportunity to speak about the different members of the LGBTQ community, and to highlight any friends or family members who are part of that community. 

Through this book and patient discussions, kids will hopefully have a better understanding of themselves and others around them.